We go out in the world, make new connections, let those turn into friendships, and believe we have finally found some meaning to our life. And then we find out that the person we thought were our confidants, and who had our trust, has now broken it.
It can be difficult to cope from this sort of betrayal, but it must be done. Here are some tips to deal with people who talk behind your back:
1) If you overhear a person saying malicious lies about you, consider confronting them. You can just ask them why they have found the need to talk about you behind your back rather than be aggressive about it.
The person gossiping about you will either be ashamed or apologize.
In any case, you may find out why this person has been spreading rumors about it.
2) Ignore it. This may be the hardest thing to do, but you have to realize that sometimes people will talk about you behind your back and you can do nothing about it. They will not stop just because you want them to. You will have to learn to let it go and ignore them.
Think of it this way, why should you give importance to someone who does not care about you?
3) Realize that the person may be jealous of you. While it may feel like a compliment to have someone be jealous of you, it also creates problems when you have to work closely with that person.
You can try to let this person feel at ease and comfortable around you. Of course, the person may not change their attitude towards you overnight. Continue being the best version of yourself no matter what anyone thinks about you.
4) The person may be trying to put you down because they have low self-esteem. In this case, you can try to encourage the person and offer sincere compliments. Let them see the best side of you and hopefully they may consider not talking behind your back.
5) Focus on yourself. As damaging as it can be to your mental health to learn that someone has been talking behind your back, learn to focus on productive things that will help you grow as a person. Distract yourself by taking up hobbies or spend time learning new skills or on your studies. Don’t let someone else stop your growth as a person.
6)Distance yourself from that person. Accept that sometimes people will not change because you want them to. If you have to work with that person, keep your conversations to a minimum and make sure not to divulge any personal information that they can use to start rumors about you.
7) Consider reporting the person. Perhaps you can go to your supervisor or teacher or principal and talk to them about how someone’s behavior is affecting your health.
It may be difficult to do so because you may think that the teacher or your supervisor may side with them. Or worse, your peers may turn against you for complaining.
In any case, if you think you can benefit from complaining about this gossiper, you should absolutely do so.
8)Remind yourself you are not at fault here. At some point, we begin to value other’s opinions about us more than what we think of ourselves. Always remember to believe in yourself more than others. You are the one who is going to be there for you at all times, not anyone else.
Which is why, take some time away from negative people to get to know yourself and remember that it isn’t your fault that someone is spreading rumors about you.
9) Get new company. Often it is those closest to us who end up betraying us. It may be your best friend you confided in or a relative. In this case, it is better to distance yourself from that person and make new friends. Find people who help you grow rather than spend time gossiping and making jealous remarks.
10) Do not give the person who is talking behind your back, any importance. The gossiper, no doubt, is expecting a reaction from you. They will enjoy watching you losing your cool or seeing you breakdown. Walk away from these situations and remember to keep calm. Don’t let what anyone says about you hurt you.
Even if it means you will have to spend some time alone because a person has managed to turn people against you, learn to enjoy your own company.
After all, being at peace is more important than putting yourself in stressful situations that can affect your health.
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