Death is inevitable, and it is something we all know is a part of life.
Yet when it happens to someone close to us, it is emotionally shattering, and sometimes, it can be hard to move on from this tragedy.
Here are some of the ways you can look after yourself when you lose a loved one.
1) Allow yourself to feel. Although you will want to feel strong and suppress your emotions, especially in front of people, it is important to allow yourself to feel sad.
Grief takes many forms, and there are various steps when dealing with it.
If you feel like crying, let yourself do exactly that. If you feel angry, tell yourself it is a normal feeling and not feel guilty.
Remember that suppressing feelings is never a good idea, and it can affect your health.
2) Try to take time off. We all live busy lives, and it can be difficult to take time off work sometimes. We live in a world where not everyone may be understanding of your tragedy and still expect you to perform normally.
Try to use some of your allotted leaves or use the weekend to just do nothing except process your grief. Learn to give yourself a break.
3) Stay connected to the deceased by talking to them in your mind or writing letters. Just because they are gone does not mean you never have to think about them again. You can visit their favourite places or cook their favourite food and keep them in your memory.
4) Remember to eat well. The first thing you will feel is the loss of appetite when hit with grief. Make sure you have proper meals during the day. Even if you don't feel like it, try to have small meals. Remember to take care of your health.
5) Make sure you get enough rest. You may feel mentally and physically tired. Some even experience insomnia. Try to get as much rest as you can. Sleep is essential for our well-being, so do learn to give it a priority.
6) Talk to someone. It can be hard to go through a tragedy and be around people who don't understand what you are going through.
Luckily, there are support groups, and if you don't have the energy to physically attend one, there are support groups online as well.
If this still doesn't work and you feel you need help with depression, do try talking to a therapist for help.
7) Try to get out every day. The last thing you would want to do is to dress up and go out. But just going out for even a few minutes can help you change your mood. You may feel good after getting some fresh air and sunlight. A change of scenery can uplift your spirits and bring you peace.
8) Do not make sudden life changes. At some point, you may feel like moving to a new place or quitting your job will help you start life anew without the person you just lost. That may not actually work, and so many changes at once could affect you mentally.
Unfortunately, you may realize too late that you have burdened yourself with these new changes, and now you feel even worse.
Give yourself time to grieve before deciding your next steps.
If you don't, you may end up with feelings of regret and guilt.
9) Do not avoid those who are trying to show concern. The first thing you may feel like doing is cut people off so you can be by yourself.
After all, not everyone can understand what you are going through.
But when you have your friends and relatives calling to make sure you are alright, do try to take their calls.
Their concern and love may help you heal faster. They may also offer useful advice that can help you deal with your grief.
Perhaps some of them have gone through the same experiences and can advise you on how to move forward.
You won't know until you pick up that phone or reply to that text message.
10) Understand that it takes time to heal. You may like to believe that you can easily adapt to changes, and just because someone passed away doesn't mean you won't be able to function normally.
Maybe your loved one was sick for a long time, and you knew they were going to pass away soon. You think you may be prepared, but when your loved one passes away, you may find yourself crumbling and feel a deep loss.
Losing someone may feel like a wound that takes a lot of time to heal.
It may take a lot of time to move forward. You may even feel like your normal self after the first month.
Then your loved one's favourite holiday or birthday comes around, and you may feel the sudden blow of loneliness or sadness.
Remember that losing a person can be difficult, and it does take time to heal from all of that.
Do not be hard on yourself if you feel like you aren't moving ahead fast enough.
You've lost someone you loved very much, and that space is now empty.
You still have to live your life and take care of yourself. So take your time in processing your grief and understand that it takes some time before you remember your loved one without breaking down.
Focus on all the cherished moments you shared together and let go of any resentments you may have just so you can live a peaceful life.
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