What's The Point of Making Friends Just to be Iced?

We can't choose our family but we do choose our friends.

And sometimes we make wrong choices.

I mean, obviously. We are expected to understand the dynamics of friendships at an early age, as well as the importance of them.

Most friendships begin because you are seated with someone in a classroom. You didn't even want to sit with someone who keeps picking their nose and wipes boogers on their sleeve. But the teacher decides the seating arrangement.

Weeks later, you're best friends with them. They've evolved for you by using tissues instead of their clothes to wipe snot. They get the best snacks for lunch and share it with you. You have secrets and jokes and meet up during the weekends to play on the swings.

Next year rolls in, and you've been put in different sections. Now you barely see each other. The last time you saw them at an assembly, they were picking their nose, and yes, the booger is back on the sleeves.

But you adapt and make new friends. Some stay on year after year, and others have migrated to another country.

Your best friend becomes a stranger. A stranger becomes your new friend.

You grow older. Your friend circle gets smaller. Turns out you can't stand a popular music band and your friends have decided they want nothing to do with someone who has bad taste.

You are a lone wolf for some time before you find others who hate that band, too. In fact, they meet up every weekend to discuss how bad they are. You've found your people!

But college happens, and you are once more parted. You make new friends. You attend gatherings, and you make the effort to show up for them, and they reciprocate too. 

After graduation, promises are kept to meet up every week regardless of how busy life gets.

It gets a little too busy. There is relationship drama to handle, bills to pay, politics at the workplace, and grandparents asking why you are not visiting them? 

In all of this, you've forgotten to answer a text from your friend. And just like that, your friendships start to fizzle out.

You try to join more groups for the sake of your partner, kids, parents, and grandparents, but it's just not the same anymore.

You're befriending adults now, and they don't care which toy you like or bond over similar hobbies.  It's a matter of convenience at first. But the minute you share a religious or political view, out you go. 

Unlike kids who immediately declare they're not friends with you anymore, adults take a more complicated approach. 

They'll reply to texts, but it will be one word. They're not only texting you, but they're texting about you on another chat where they reply in sentences. 

They will take pictures of you, but you'll be in one corner because it will be easy to crop you out later on. Your every move is scrutinized. There is a snide comment about how you take your coffee, too. 

You may be in a group of friends who laugh with you but notice that sometimes they are laughing at you. Or you could be sharing a deep, personal story, and someone would be rolling their eyes, or exchanging a mocking glance with someone.

Before you know it, you're the last one to be invited. And then some time later, not even invited.

The group is done with you. They wanted someone to gossip about because that is how they bond. Your purpose has been filled.

So...what is the point of making friends just so you are iced later on? 

The Point is that social construct dictates that we make friends. Friends increase value. The more you have, the more valuable you are. At least, that is how the world will view as. 

Having friends means you are successful. If so many people like you, then you are likable and therefore capable of being invested in.

It doesn't matter if your friends are really friends. They should show up on your photos and parties.

They will avoid you when you are going through a rough period, but that's okay. As long as they are ready to take photos with you and plaster it all over social media to confirm you have friends, that is all that matters.

To society of course.

The wrong friendships can drain you and make life seem so much harder.

But when you do find that one friend, that's absolute treasure. You'll soon find that spending money lavishly or going on vacations together don't matter as much as sitting on a park bench and just talking. 

That one moment where you feel heard is far more precious than going on a photo op venue.

Eventually, the point of making a lot of friends is to find that one friend that finally makes life a lot more easier to deal with.