Top 10 Tips To Deal With Difficult Relatives

It’s the holidays and it is time to enjoy the festivities with your loved ones. You probably haven’t seen them in a long time and so meeting them is exciting. Your cousins, your aunt, uncle, grand parents…all of them have grown and changed since the last time you saw them.

Who doesn’t dream of a perfect family gathering where everyone is getting along and everyone is having fun and it is just so relaxing being with them.

But usually, all of that is just a dream. Some of your relatives may not be too happy to see you, or may have spread gossip about you, or they look for a chance to criticize every single decision you have made in your life.

It is also the holidays, though, and you feel the obligation to go and spend time with family. Even though some of your relatives and keen to bring you down, you know deep in your heart that there are those who are excited to see you.

Here are the TOP 10 Tips to Deal with Difficult Relatives

1) Try not to react

You may have tried avoiding a relative since you came, but now you find yourself at the table alone with that one person who is eager to criticize you. And so it begins…

All these people are trying to do is get under your skin. They want you to react. They want you to explode in anger so that they can prove to everyone that they were right about you having uncontrolled anger and an attitude that needs to change.

Do not give in to that. Understand that they are trying to engage you in an argument, and learn to keep calm.

2) Calmly try to get your point across

It won’t be easy to listen to someone continuously criticizing every aspect of your life. Do stand up for yourself, but remind yourself that you are the bigger person and will speak to them in a neutral tone.
You were raised with manners and so talk to the instigator in a polite tone but firmly get your point across and tell them they are not allowed to talk to you in this manner.

Remember to stay calm when dealing with your family members no matter how frustrating it gets.

3) Realize when you need to step away

When you find yourself unable to control a situation and want to avoid getting into a heated argument, consider walking away. Make an excuse. Offer to go get groceries or complete any other chore.
It is better to take a few moments to breathe and then get back into the stressful situation.

4) Set boundaries

You may find it hard to say no to your relatives. They will ask you to do several tasks for them or perhaps speak to you in a degrading way.

Set boundaries for what you are willing to do for a family member. Even though family is expected to be supportive and helpful, don’t let some of your relatives take advantage of your generosity.

Also, make sure you are respected by those younger than you.

5) Avoid getting caught in a guilt-trip

Family ties are soaked with emotions and we believe that blood is thicker than water. Which is why some family members are inclined to use it to their advantage.

You may find that some of your relatives weaving a sympathetic tale so that you go out of their way to either help them or let them do whatever they want.

Explain to them what you can do and what you are unable to. Do not let emotions cloud your judgement.

6) Try to understand their POV

Sometimes, we may become so biased against a family member, that we don’t want to listen to a word they say.

But if you want to truly improve your relationships with your family members, listen to what they have to say.

It may not all be made-up stories or tales that exalt them and put everyone in a bad light.

There may be some words of wisdom in those conversations that you can hold onto.

Also, the more you listen, the more you will learn about them and perhaps you may change your point of view of the situation that you thought they were making complicated when it isn’t so.

7) Indulge in your favorite activities before a family gathering

It goes without saying that you should make keeping yourself happy, a priority. If you know you have an obligation to attend a family event, give yourself a day off beforehand to unwind, and collect your thoughts.

With proper rest and care, you will find it easier to deal with difficult and nosy relatives.

8) Distract your relatives by giving them a separate task

Who doesn’t want to feel important? Especially in the case of a family event, every member wants to feel like they are contributing in a special way.

Even that bossy, nosy relative. Instead of ignoring them and letting them interfere in your duties, set a task for them that they can handle without you having to be in the same area as them.

They may just appreciate you for handing them an important task.

9) Realize you cannot change people

You may have had several internal monologues about how you can possibly change the mindset of a difficult relative. The scene probabluy ends with resounding applause and a loving embrace.

This happens only in movies.

In real life, you have to accept that people are not going to change so that your life can be more convenient. They may think that you need to change so their life doesn’t have a character like you in it.

People rarely change and definitely don’t change their opinions for you.

Life is not a family movie.

10) Distance yourself from relatives who affect your mental health

If you continuously find yourself in situations that end with you finding a corner to cry in, it is time to walk away from that toxicity.

Or maybe you have a relative who engages in bad habits and refuses to change. Their lifestyle and refusal to give up illegal substances may harm your home life and the children. It is time to take that difficult decision to walk away rather than put yourself in a challenging position.

Remember to take care of you and your mental health first.