Being a writer means you are inducted into this special program where you get to use this special language and euphemisms to sound really dedicated to your craft, and of course, smart.
Once you’ve announced that you are a writer, everyone will want to know the status of your current projects and what you do the entire day. The life of a writer makes people highly inquisitive and while they are in awe of your chosen career, they may not know the everyday hurdles a writer faces.
And so, as a writer, you have no choice but to answer their curious questions with enigmatic replies.
If you’re not a writer and want to decipher what a writer is actually trying to say, here’s some helpful phrases:
1) What Writers say: "I'm brainstorming."
What they mean: "I'm staring at the wall and hoping for divine intervention."
It’s not easy being a writer and coming up with ideas all the time. There are good ones and extremely useless ones, and more often than not, writers tend to get stuck with writers block and have to do whatever it takes to overcome it so that they can get back to work.
2) What they say: "I’m almost done with this draft."
What they mean: "I’ve rewritten the first chapter 48 times and have no idea how it ends."
Trust a writer not to be waylaid by their own work. They could have the perfect idea, start writing it, and realize that it does not flow well with the rest of the story planned. And so they scrap that, rewrite the chapter, and realize it would work better with a different POV. Scratch that. The first idea was better. Wait, did the protagonist not make an entry yet? The chapter is almost over, and it’s only about the small town in the middle of nowhere!
Chances are, a writer could have the perfect original idea but spend several drafts before they choose how to begin.
3) What they say: "I’m researching."
What they mean: "I just spent three hours on Wikipedia learning about medieval cheese-making techniques for one sentence."
Why? Because the protagonist is a fromager. The love interest has just inherited a cheese shop but doesn’t know how to sell cheese. So while most of the book is about their relationship and a bit about marketing cheese, there is that one part in the book where the protagonist instructs people on how to make cheese and for that the writer needs to read ten articles to perfect their narrative.
Also, at the last minute, the writer decides to do away with the cheese-making bit in the story but at least they got to learn the process that goes into making cheese.
4)What they say: "I’m taking a break to recharge."
What they mean: "I’m binge-watching an entire series and ignoring my deadlines."
Hey, writing can be exhausting. There’s so much to research and think about, then write…it’s a valid comment. Writers need to take a break to recharge and if it means they need to binge-watch a couple of shows then that just counts as research.
5) What they say: "My characters really surprised me today."
What they mean: "I have no clue what’s happening in my story anymore."
Believe it or not, you may think that a writer is completely in control of the story and characters but in reality, there’s another self within them that gives initial control to the writer and then usurps that power.
The writer may end a chapter and wonder how they even come up with this plot.
Of course, it is a secret that cannot be known to everyone which is why the response is always: my characters surprised me today but I am very positive about how the story is progressing.
6) What they say: "I’m editing now."
What they mean: "I’m obsessively rearranging commas and still crying over plot holes."
Ah, the editing phase. Every writer’s nightmare.
As soon as the book is over, they may remark about the editing process but will not reveal how they are mortified that a comma did not end up in the right place. And, oops, the character’s hair was supposed to be blue not pink and green.
Also, the neighbor had already died in chapter three but shows up in chapter ten. But not as a ghost!
Most times the writer will then convert their rom-com to a horror/thriller just to retain some of the plot holes.
7) What they say: "I’m querying my manuscript."
What they mean: "I’ve emailed it to three agents and now refresh my inbox every five minutes."
It’s time to send the manuscripts to agents and publishers. On the outside the writer may appear calm but deep inside they are a bubbling mess of anxiety and low-self esteem. What if no one likes their book?
8) What they say: "It’s just a first draft."
What they mean: "This is my precious child, and if you criticize it, I’ll cry."
Now that the writer has completed their manuscript, a loved one wants to read it and the writer have told them to give their honest opinion. But it is their baby and they cannot stand it if anyone criticizes their perfect story. The “It’s just a first draft” comes more as a warning than anything.
9) What they say: "I don’t care about reviews."
What they mean: "I’ve memorized every single one and ranked them from nicest to cruelest."
Writers are told to abstain from taking reviews to heart. They are also trained to take criticism constructively. But one bad review and all of those teachings go out the window.
While they cannot show how much bad reviews have affected them, the best they can pretend to do is state that they don’t care about reviews and are grateful to be working in their chosen profession.
10) What they say: "I love feedback!"
What they mean: "I only love feedback that tells me I’m a genius."
When it comes to reviews, not all of them are online. Sometimes, a writer will have to deal with readers face to face and kindly tell them to give them feedback because they are always eager to connect with fans.
But as a rule, they only want to hear the good stuff. Most writers do not want feedback from someone who doesn’t even know the craft or ever written anything or spent several hours in a day, spoiling their posture so that they can work on their laptops.
Non-writers have to call every writer a genius because that is why they got into the profession in the first place.
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