Ah, February—the month when New Year’s resolutions have already collapsed, your enthusiasm for 2025 has vanished, and the universe is throwing lemons at your face instead of handing them to you to make lemonade.
If this year is already shaping up to be a disaster, don’t worry—you’ve still got ten months to begrudgingly endure it.
Here’s how to survive the madness with your sanity (mostly) intact.
1. Lower Your Expectations (No, Lower… Even Lower)
Remember how you thought this would be your year and time to shine?
How adorable!
Now let’s bring those expectations down. No, lower. Keep going. There it is—just aim for “Didn’t Completely Fall Apart,” and you’re golden.
2. Take Life One Day (or One Snack) at a Time
Are you thinking about surviving the entire year? Overwhelming.
The whole month? Still too much. Break it down into tiny pieces: just survive the day. If that’s still too hard, just make it to your next snack break. From snacks to snacks, you can make it through anything.
Just remember to load up on snacks.
3. Be Like a Cat—Nap More, Care Less
Cats are the best at not caring about anything.
When life gets too much, they nap. When someone annoys them, they walk away. If something is in their way, they knock it off the table. Channel that energy. Take a nap, ignore drama, and metaphorically (or literally) push your problems off the nearest surface.
4. Celebrate Small Wins (Like Remembering What Day It Is)
If the most productive thing you did today was put on pants, that’s a win. Didn’t yell at your slow WiFi? Another win. Managed to form a coherent sentence during a Zoom meeting? You deserve a trophy. Life is just a collection of small victories—start collecting them.
5. Prepare for Plot Twists (Because Life Is One Big, Unedited Script)
Think of this year as a badly written soap opera. Unexpected drama? Check. Strange side characters? Absolutely. A ridiculous plot twist that makes no sense? You bet. But here’s the thing—every messy episode eventually ends. So hang in there because the next season (or at least next month) might be better.
6. Laugh at the Chaos (Because Crying Ruins Mascara)
Life is weird. It’s unpredictable. It’s full of plot holes. But if you can laugh at it—even just a little—you’ve already won.
7. Schedule Your Next Existential Crisis (Because You’re Busy Right Now)
If 2025 is already testing your patience, you could have a full breakdown right now… or you could schedule it for later. Tell yourself, “I’ll panic about this in two weeks,” then forget to add it to your calendar. Boom. Instant relief.
8. Give Up on Being Productive—Embrace the Art of ‘Meh’
This was supposed to be the year you got fit, read 50 books, and learned a new language. But let’s be real—you’re just trying to survive. If all you can manage is binge-watching true crime shows and making it through Monday without punching anyone, that’s valid. Productivity is overrated.
9. Remind Yourself That Even Bad Years End
Here’s the good news: no matter how messy, ridiculous, or chaotic this year becomes, it will eventually end. December will come. You’ll survive. And maybe, just maybe, 2026 will be the year we finally get it together. (Or at least fake it better.)
10. Blame Mercury Retrograde (Even If It’s Not Happening)
When life goes sideways, just say, “Ugh, Mercury must be in retrograde.” Doesn’t matter if it actually is—just blame the planets. It sounds mystical, people will nod in agreement, and best of all, it means nothing is your fault. Your emails disappeared? Mercury retrograde. Your coffee spilt? Mercury retrograde. You spent an hour staring at the wall instead of working? You guessed it—Mercury retrograde. Science can’t prove you wrong, so embrace it.
There you go—ten long way to survive this chaotic year. If all else fails, just remember: no one actually has their life together. You're doing just fine.
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