No word has the dual power of being enlightening yet frightening at the same time.
The truth. Do we want it? Yes. Do we actually want it? Maybe not.
Who wants to hear that the clothes they painstakingly spent hours searching for do not look good on them? Or the new skincare routine is doing exactly the opposite of what they thought the outcome would be. Or the relationship they invested several years in with time, money, and energy, is going to implode.
No one wants the truth because it would fracture the illusion of safety and stabilization. But the truth is also what sets us free from deceit, lies, anxiety, and fear. It has consequences, but one of the main ones is closure, which is eventually good for us.
But say the word ‘truth,’ and the first reaction is utmost panic. Do I want to hear it? Is it going to yank me out of my lofty world? Isn’t ignorance bliss?
Yet, you also can’t do without it. Deep inside, you want to know that the relationship is real, that your boss actually respects your work, that your neighbor doesn’t think you’re a criminal, or that the dog who barked at you doesn’t see you as a threat and was only saying hello.
But hearing the opposite would mean assuming responsibility. It would mean that if that relationship did not work, it was because you forgot your partner’s important events. You didn’t wave that one time, which is why the neighbor doesn’t like you. That dog was upset because you stepped on his tail that one time. Your boss doesn’t like you because you messed up the documentation and always come in late.
Accepting the truth means accepting you are not as likable as you thought and your flaws are visible. Who wants to hear that? It’s too much to take. It’s easy to play victim and think it’s someone else’s fault.
The truth sets you free? No way! It places you in front of the mirror and zooms in on every single flaw you have, starting with that piece of lettuce stuck between your teeth, no one told you about because they thought it would embarrass you.
Maybe someone should have been truthful to you and saved you the embarrassment when you were smiling at your new client?
So…what is the point of the truth?
It’s supposed to mean that we all have a conscience. Being truthful is supposed to be honorable. We learned that in school and in stories that screamed morality is important.
But the real world taught us something else. Being facetious is what makes you likable. Flattery will get you everywhere. Lying about your personal life makes you less complicated and appear more stable.
People like stability. They have their own complications, so they don’t want to deal with someone like them. They want someone who shows strength by presenting themselves as someone who has it together.
The truth is messy. It doesn’t make you as likable as you think. Imagine going up to someone and telling them about the green stuff between their teeth. They won’t be as thankful as you expect. Instead, you may receive a glare. How dare you embarrass them? You could have chosen to say it privately rather than in front of a crowd.
The truth needs to be spoken softly. Lies can be declared from the top of a mountain.
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