What’s The Point of The Family Balance Sheet

 

The minute we are born, we become a member of a family. We are taught about family love and expect unconditional support from them in endless supply. 

“We are family, of course, I will be there for you.”

You will hear that several times during your life. Until one day, you realize that you weren’t born in a family but a shaky startup with questionable accounts. 

It comes up in a casual conversation. One of your parents states that they hope you choose a profitable career so you can take care of your siblings and then them when they are old. 

Something inside you clicks. Wait…are you their child or a diversified asset expected to deliver an ROI?

If you don’t manage to deliver, your parents are probably expecting their other children to step up. 

They are investing in you after all. Your basic needs are met, and you are being educated. And all this for several years until you are pushed out to go earn a living so you can start giving back what they have invested in you. 

Sometimes it isn’t even about money. It’s about what services you can provide. At first, the services are small, like watering the plants, picking or dropping someone in the family, or helping them with their e-commerce business. 

They are paying for rent and food, so you have to offer your services that come under the guise of family assistance. They are your family, so you have to help them, right? It’s your duty, and you were brought up to believe that family is everything. 

The tasks become exponentially bigger as time passes. You are asked to do a lot more chores, give up most of your day, babysit some random family member’s baby, or pick something up in the middle of the night. 

The balance sheets are not balancing anymore. Your services are outweighing the investments made in you. 

In return, you are not reimbursed financially but with soft praises. 

“You are so kind.” 

“You were raised really well.”

“You are so efficient.”

You take what you get and move on with your life, only to get a call or a request to do something else, to make someone else’s life convenient. 

You are being asked to provide a service because of the investment made several years ago, for which you must still pay in installments. 

You were supposed to be an asset that appreciates over time and is profitable. As a family member, you must contribute not only finances, but also your time and energy. 

Someone paid for your roof? Now, you must do all the housework while the people you are supposed to call family make no adjustments to their messy lifestyle.  

Eventually, over time, your value depreciates because you can’t find the time to work, to take care of your needs, or to provide a dividend, which in this case is having a family of your own. 

Before you know it, you’ve become a liability. That is what your family members begin to call you. You’re the item in the balance sheet that isn’t bringing enough to the company…the family. 

You require maintenance, too. Having given away so much time and money to your family, you are now in deficit, almost bankrupt. Instead of investing in you again, you are written off as a loss. 

You are an old item on the balance sheet that needs to be removed because it looks too damaging to a company’s reputation. Yet, you cannot remove a line item without an explanation. 

So…what is the point of the family balance sheet?

It’s to show where you stand in your family. Now, of course, not all families are stern accountants demanding an audit. There are some who know that family and accounts need to be kept separate.

But more often than not, we are just items in a balance sheet, trying to stay on the profit column, just so you can continue to be viewed as an asset. 

That sounds a lot better than someone repeatedly calling you a liability to demean you and crush your spirit in an already challenging and cruel world. 

Family is supposed to be the safe haven, the one place that doesn’t run on a quarterly fiscal cycle. It’s the backup supply of unconditional support when the rest of the world is busy demanding dividends you don't have.

If the "love" stops the moment you can’t provide a service, it was never a family; it was just a contract you didn't know you signed. If they only want you on the left side of the balance sheet when you’re profitable, maybe it’s time to stop letting them audit your life.

6 Column Ledger Book