What's The Point of Treating Family Like Staff?

 

Family means everything. No one gets left behind. Blood is thicker than water. 

Turns out, these family values have the potential to be manipulated. Family loyalty is misused as family obligation. Unconditional family love? Those actually come with long strings attached. You just never saw them at first. But as you grow older, you realize you are not supposed to be your own person, but someone your family won’t be shy in addressing you in public or even acknowledging you as their own.

In a way, you’re expected to fit a mold. Look a certain way, get excellent grades in school, choose a financially stable career, get married, have kids, have your own home, and only then can you be called a success. 

Deviate from that path, and you are someone who is never invited to any family gatherings. Your demeanor is analyzed, your expressions are studied. Calm and composure are a must at all times. By the way, you are also supposed to be well-informed about everything that goes on around you. AI may be a useful tool, but then what use are you to your family?

There may be some families who operate differently, but the majority of us are trying to fit into our families. We want to be accepted, we want to be close to our roots, mostly because it is ingrained that if you have a supportive family, you have everything. If they are not supportive, then you have failed as a human being. 

So off you go, trying to please everyone. Doing favors, expecting nothing in return. Being available at all times, even if you are sick or busy. Eventually, you get a pass into the family-likes-you club only to realize that it comes with a set of rules. You must continue to push yourself to make others comfortable. 

If you visit them, or they are letting them stay with you, you must provide a list of services that include almost all housework. You must wash their dishes, because they paid half for the groceries. You paid the other half, but it doesn’t matter. 

They will go out and have fun in waterparks and gardens, and their dirty clothes will be hanging from the hamper. Guess who washes them? You, of course. 

They are letting you stay with them after all. You may be at a point where you’re contributing towards rent and groceries, but that’s not enough. The rental agreement is not in your name. So you must become their unpaid servant. They will stop treating you as a human being, but worry not, publicly, in order to keep up appearances, they will acknowledge you as family. 

And that’s a reward, right? Your social standing increases. You have a family that takes more from you than you have to give, but at least you come under their label. 

Granted, not all families are like this. There may be some who genuinely care for one another, but then they should know that they are special. Because most of us fall out of the brackets. 

Our lives didn’t take the path that is frequently traveled upon. Our circumstances demanded we divert our paths and do what is necessary in that moment. We become those who didn’t follow social norms, and disappointed our families because we didn’t adhere to their expectations. 

Instead of support, we are punished. Instead of help, we are belittled. You chose a different path after all, even if it was for your family, too bad, you should have stuck to the road. 

Eventually, most of us are exploited. We give away our time, money, and energy to family members whose demands never end. And if you ever stand up for yourself, you are termed difficult and then insulted. You do love them, which is why you make time for them, but that quickly turns into resentment and complicated feelings. 

You would rather walk away, but the bond keeps you closer, and unfortunately, it exposes you to even more exploitation. 

Those who use family members as staff never see the injustice or the exploitation. In their mind, they are the saviors of the world, and need to be thanked every day for providing meagre interaction. 

They even give you performance reviews based on how much work you have done, how efficiently, and then even deliver loud complaints if you happen to make a small mistake. 

There may be a lot of challenges one faces in their lifetime, but family is the one thing that can either build you up or tear you down. 

So, what’s the point of treating family like staff? I suppose it’s the only way to enjoy a five-star lifestyle on a zero-dollar budget, all while calling your exploitation 'family bonding.'

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